Prayers

I am putting out a call for prayer.

I have been very discouraged and frustrated this past week. The issue causing this mood disturbance is Bree's sleep. She has been fitting naps or taking very short ones and being cranky and tired when she wakes up. I hate when I feel I am not doing a good job with her. I wonder if I should have waited to put her down or if I waited too long, or if she is just teething and no matter what I do it will still be crazy, or if she is having gas, or . . . . etc. The list goes on.

I was REALLY letting it get to me. I was letting her long battles with sleep become in a way my own battles. The more moms I commented to and consulted the more I realized that I am the problem- and not in the way I was thinking.

God made Bree and I two different people. Her life is her own, her experiences are her own, and her struggles are her own as well. Don't miss understand me, I am fully aware that she is only nine and a half months old. She still needs me, a whole lot! But I have boundaries. Boundaries I am very good as erasing, crossing over, and at time completely ignoring. No more. (in theory) It is time to embrace the boundaries. Time to let my success be marked by more than just how well Bree slept and what kind of mood she is in!

So upon reflection it turns out the issue causing my frustration and sadness it really me. haha Surprise!

Therefore the prayer request I am putting out there is that those of you who know the Lord will lift me up and pray for strength and wisdom. Bree is wonderful and I will not be able to make her life perfect and smooth. I am a big factor in the bumpiness of her life but not the one in control. So thank you for reading and hopefully commiseration, and then heartfelt praying.

I appreciate it and need it!

Let me know if there is anything I can be praying for to help you.

Another year

Shaun let Bree sit up in the bath tub the other night. And it unleashed a flood of emotions from me. I actually sat on the couch all curled up looking at him like he was evil.

It was pathetic. Thankfully Shaun is a very forgiving guy who happens to love me, a lot!

I cried a little too. Turns out I am sad to let my baby grow up. She is nine months old now. The poor thing deserves to play in the tub. She is steady enough now and smart enough not to do anything too crazy like try and climb out and slip and kill herself. I can see that now after watching her play in there. Her Grandma got her a basket ball hoop with big suction cups and some balls, she loves to chase after the balls and grab them and then of course, put them in her mouth.

She is getting bigger. She will turn one this year. She will walk in the next month or two. She will never again be my baby.

I can have another baby and I have reminded of that fact by many people. But I think Skylana will understand what I mean when I say, "but this little one, this baby is my baby."

I'm working through the pain. lol I am learning to embrace the chance because I can't stop it as my dear husband pointed out, "I am powerful but not that powerful."

So true . . . deep breaths.